Divided & Confused
by cultnirvana
Summary: What happens when a harsh comment from Misty drives Ash to another girl -/- This site has incorrectly reformatted this story, removing punctuation and even some words, and I haven't had the chance to fix up the errors yet. Sorry!
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, this is the first fic I ever wrote, back when I was barely 17. I'm not overly happy with it myself. The story is too fluffy and basic, and my ability has (I hope) increased greatly since the time I worked upon this, but I didn't want to remove it. So, instead, I've went back and fixed it up. There were so many errors in it before. No matter how many times I re-read it back then, I could never see the mistakes in it (you know what I mean, when you know how something should sound, you don't read it properly, so I made a number of spelling and grammar mistakes that I knew were wrong, but just didn't notice them. I also didn't have a betareader as a catch-net). It's hopefully much better now. I'm also working on a revision of 'Let Love...' and maybe 'Why?' Just have the urge to fix up the work I did so many years ago._

********************* 

**_~Divided and Confused~_**  
**Chapter One**  
_by cultnirvana_

********************* 

Ah, Viridian City at las,." Misty said with a relieved tone. We've been travelling back here for over a week now, and it's about time we arrived."  
  
I agree with you there," Ash replied.  
  
At least you both agree on something," Brock commented with a small smile on his face.  
  
The three just stood for a while on the summit of one of the hills that over looked the city. It was a glorious day. The sun was strong, but bearable, and its light played on the glass windows of the builds.  
  
No more sleeping bags and bugs for a while. Just a nice, clean hotel bed with a shower and hot food."  
  
It's not that bad when were travelling, Misty. Yeah, we may not be staying in the lap of luxury, but it's still okay," Ash told her.  
  
I know but you must admit luxury is a nice change now and then."  
  
Yeah. Your right." Ash creaked his back and let out a slight whimper of pain. My back is getting sore sleeping on rocks all the time."  
  
Well, come on then. Lets head down and find a place to stay for the night."  
  
You're right, Brock. We better get moving," Ash answered.  
  
The three headed into town, exhausted but happy. It took the group no time at all the find the Pokémon Centre, so they signed up for a room, went down to the lobby to recharge their Pokémon and then sat for a while in the common area eating at one of the tables.  
  
Mmm. What's that poster on the wall over there?" Ash pointed to it, and Misty, Brock and Pikachu all turned round to where he was looking.  
  
Misty squinted her eyes and read the notice, several metres away from their table. It's a disco for Pokemon trainers right here in the centre." A wide smile spread across her face. Cool. Free admission."  
  
When is it?" Brock asked. Tomorrow night. I don't know what you guys are doing, but I'm going."  
  
Me too."  
  
Me three," Ash added.  
  
Pika pika," Pikachu excitedly whooped.  
  
Great, I can't wait. It'll be great, won't it, Ash?"  
  
Yeah, Misty. We haven't had a party for a while. Just what we need after a long time of travelling and battling."  
  
They all went back to the food, happy to have something to look forward to.  
  
This food my not be the best but at least it's better than what we usually eat," said Misty.  
  
Brock looked up from his food, hurt. Hey, I'm a good cook. What's wrong with my cooking?"  
  
Nothing, it's just we haven't eaten anything fresh for days now. No matter how good your cooking abilities are you can't hide the taste of tinned food. Isn't that right, Ash?"  
  
Ash, too preoccupied with eating to care about the conversation, turned to his friend. What?"  
  
Misty let out a distressed sigh and heavily put her head down on the table. All you care about is food." _Well, perhaps not just food, _Misty thought. _He thinks about Pokémon too. If he would just think about the things most teenagers think about, he may see the way I feel about him._ Misty's covered face began to blush from embarrassment. How could she possibly have feelings for someone like him, who didn't care about things like girls and love? The closest he ever got to a relationship was blushing when a pretty girl came along. She knew by that he was interested in the opposite sex, but just didn't hold it as important enough. What was he afraid of?  
  
That's all you think about, food and Pokémon," Misty whispered unintentional, with her head still on the wipe-clean table.  
  
Hmm?"  
  
She sat up and looked into his dark eyes, and forcibly answered. I said that all you think of is food and Pokémon. You don't care about the finer things in life."  
  
I do care about the finer things." There was an awkward pause for a moment, and then, with a confused expression on his face, he asked, What finer things?"  
  
Oh, you are ridiculous, Ash. What do you think I mean?"  
  
I don't know. Trying to figure you out is one of the hardest possible things to do."  
  
Well, then, I will explain to you and hope your simple brain comprehends. I mean what about relationships, love. You're going to grow up lonely if you don't eventually start thinking about these kinds of things. You've never even asked a girl on a date, never mind actually been on one. Are you afraid or something? If that's the reason why don't you talk to Brock. At least he asks girls out, although he always gets rejected."  
  
Brock, pained by another blow to his ego (first his cooking skills and now his woman problems!) yelled, Hey, don't bring me into this."  
  
Misty, how the hell am I going to start going out with someone when we are constantly travelling. I could never have a serious relationship with the way I have chosen to live my life. The only possibly person I could have a relationship with would be-" He stopped before he said her name.  
  
Misty stared at him. Was that the reason? He felt that he shouldn't even try as he could never have a proper relationship? She didn't answer him, understanding his reasoning fully.  
  
They all began to eat again in total silence until a soft, beautiful voice broke the hush.  
  
Ah, excuse me." The girl sounded a little nervous. Are you Ash Ketchum...of Pallet Town?"  
  
The three humans and two Pokémon looked up at the young woman who stood by their table at Ash's end. Her vivid, green eyes looked straight at Ash. The group were all amazed at how she looked. She was about Ash's age, maybe a little older, with silky purple hair that hung to her waist. She was tall, with a slim, but not skinny, build. Instantly, both guys began to blush.  
  
Hi. I hope I'm not disturbing you, but I just wanted to meet you."  
  
Misty turned to the girl, curious, and a little jealous, of her interest in her friend, and his easily noticeable reaction to her. How do you know Ash?"  
  
The girl tore her excited eyes away from Ash and looked at the questioner. Oh, I'm a fan."  
  
"A fan?!" both Misty and Brock shouted simultaneous, totally amazed at what she had just said.  
  
The fan's attention was again on Ash. She grabbed his hand and shook it vigorously. I heard you were coming to the city so was hoping I could find you. I've heard everything about you, and have seen you compete before. You are considered one of the best current young trainers and it is a real pleasure to met you."  
  
No," Ash stood and looked deep into the girls face, the pleasure is all mine."  
  
Could I have your autograph?"  
  
Sure." He searched his pockets but came across nothing. Ah, do you have a pen?"  
  
Oh, sorry." She took out a pen and some paper and handed it to Ash.  
  
He took them, put the paper on the table and, as he was about to write, stopped himself. He had never signed an autograph before and was unsure what to write. Ah, what's your name?"  
  
I'm Stasi. That's short for Anastasia."  
  
Hi, Stasi." He began to write on the paper; _To Stasi. Thanks for your support, Ash Ketchum.  
  
_While writing Brock, recovered a little from the blush made a move. Hello, Anastasia, I'm Brock, Ash's friend. How about-"  
  
Before he could finish, Misty hit him over the face. She was becoming annoyed by the fact that both her friends were drooling over Stasi, especially with Ash enjoying his new-found fame a little too much to her liking.  
  
Ash, finished writing, handed the paper and pen back to Stasi.  
  
Thanks very much. I really appreciate this, you going to this trouble and all."  
  
Oh, don't worry," Misty said, a little sarcastically. Ash loves any attention he can get."  
  
Ash give her a irritated look. He didn't want to be made fun of when a cute fan was watching. He looked away from Misty and began to talk to Stasi again. Are you from Viridian?"  
  
Yeah. I'm just back to see my family for a few weeks then I'm off again. I'm a trainer too."  
  
Oh."  
  
Well, I better go. I don't want to bother you any longer. Thanks, Ash." And with that she began to walk from the table.  
  
When the girl was near the exit, Ash looked towards Misty, with a suspicious grin on his face. He couldn't resist a challenge. I'll prove it to you that I'm into the 'finer' things in life, that I have no fear of such things." He turned and saw that his fan was mere inches from the door. With a quick, confident pace, he reached the door before she had left. Stasi, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
Her face lit up and an even greater smile spread across her pretty face. Sure."  
  
Back at the table, his two friends watched the short conversation before the objects of their attention walked from the room, not before Ash gave the table's occupants a boastful glance. The two remaining humans both looked jealous, but with Brock it was the usual look of rejection, while Misty seemed depressed. 


	2. Chapter 2

**_~Divided and Confused~_**  
**Chapter Two**  
_by cultnirvana_

********************* 

The two teens walked down the main street of Viridian, strolling among the market stalls.  
  
So, you're a trainer too?"  
  
Yeah, but I haven't competed in any major competitions. I have nine badges from the Indigo League Gyms, but I have decided to wait a little while and train up my Pokemon so that I'm as prepared as possible."  
  
Good idea. I wish I had thought about that before competing in the League. Maybe I'd been placed a little higher than in the Top 16."  
  
That's a great position for someone of your age. You were only eleven at the time."  
  
Maybe, but I wish I'd trained a bit more before it. My friends and I just always seemed to get side-tracked."  
  
How long have you know ... what are they called?"  
  
Misty and Brock. I've known them since I was ten. They were my coaches at the Indigo League competition. Brock used to be the leader of the Pewter City gym. He was the first leader I battled. He joined me after."  
  
Did you beat him?"  
  
Ah, well kinda. Misty and I have a pretty strange pass. I've known her a little longer than Brock. She saved mine and Pikachu's life when we accidentally got tangled in her fishing line. Then I stole and blew up her bike. Four years later, I still haven't paid her back."  
  
Unusual meeting."  
  
Yeah, but we are good friends, although we don't always seem to be." They certainly did have a strange friendship. One moment they would be great friends, helping each other through thick or thin. The next they would be yelling all the insults of the day at each other; him commenting on her tomboy ways and she about his naivity and overconfidence. _Hmm. She is a strange girl, but I like that about her.  
  
_Ash?" She waved her hand in front of his face. Are you okay?"  
  
What?" he asked, coming out of his thoughts.  
  
You drifted off there for a moment."  
  
Oh, sorry I was just thinking."  
  
What about?"  
  
Nothing important."  
  
Oh, okay." His momentary blackout left her curious. When she first met him at the centre, the girl, Misty, seemed to be a little jealous at Ash's interest in her, and when the two left, the redhead had seemed a little depressed. Then he was spaced out when he had finished talking about her. Maybe, she wondered, there was something between the two of them. But then again if they did have feelings for each other, why weren't they together? And why had he asked her out? She put the whole situation behind her, and just concentrated upon the rest of the day.  
  
Have you heard about the party at the Pokemon centre tomorrow night?" he inquired.  
  
Yeah. It sounds like a great night."  
  
How about..we... ah...go together, if you'd like to, that is."  
  
Of course. So...are we...going out then," she asked nervously.  
  
Ah...I guess so," Ash said cautiously, hoping that was what she wanted to hear. Even after years of living with his mum, and travelling with Misty, he still had come no closer to understanding girls. _But then_, he guessed,_ few guys every do understand them.  
  
_Great. I can't believe it. I'm dating thee Ash Ketchum. I can't wait to tell my friends. They'll be so jealous."  
  
Ash chuckled. I'm not exactly famous."  
  
You may not be as famous as the Elite Four, but your name is held in high regard."  
  
Thanks. I don't get compliments much."

*********************

So, how did it go?" Brock asked his younger friend.  
  
Ash smiled as he entered the small common room. It went great. Absolutely perfect. We went to a little cafe for lunch, talked for a little while. Then took a short stroll around the city, which actually turned into quite a long stroll. We walked for about four hours endlessly talking about each other."  
  
So what's she like?"

*********************

Misty heard the two guys talking when she was in the bedroom, still sorting out some of her clothes. She walked over to the door, holding some of her clothes, and pushed it a little ajar so she could hear what they were saying a bit better.  
  
She's brilliant," Misty heard Ash reply to a question of Brock's that she hadn't quite heard. But she could guess the subject of the inquiry, neither-the-less.  
  
She's smart, beautiful, and great fun to be with. I can't believe how great we got on. And I'm amazed at how interested she is in me."  
  
That's great to hear. So, she is going with you to the dance tomorrow night, then?"  
  
Yep, and I can't wait to see her again."  
  
Are you not seeing her before the party?"  
  
No. I asked but she has something planned."  
  
Oh, well."  
  
Yeah."  
  
This wasn't the type of thing Misty wanted to here. It wasn't like she wanted the girl to dump Ash or anything, but Misty didn't like to see him with anyone else. She wanted him for herself, even though she knew that wasn't possible. It still hurt, though, to hear him singing the praises of another girl. She had always had a crush on him and some feelings that for years now she had been trying to suppress, but, knowing that he was now seeing her, out of the blue, it brought it all back to her how they could never be together. She brought one of her pieces of clothing up to her eye and wiped away a small tear. At that point, she felt something touching her leg.  
  
She looked down to see a little ball of yellow fur look back up at her with a concerned look on it's small face. I didn't realise you were in here, Pikachu."  
  
Pika pika?"  
  
Am I okay? Yeah, I'm fine." She bent down and picked up the small Pokémon.  
  
Pikachu?"  
  
Your right, I'm not."  
  
Pika pi, pikachu?"  
  
Yeah, it's him."  
  
Pikachu pika pi."  
  
Yeah, I have feelings for him, but don't you breathe a word. I don't want anyone to know."  
  
Pika?"  
  
Why not? Because we're too close as friends for anything to happen. And he doesn't like me the way I like him."  
  
Pika pikachu pika."  
  
You'd like us to get together. Mmm, so would I, but it'll never happen." She put the electric rodent onto the bottom bunk bed where the rest of her clothes were and began to sort them again. Pikachu just watched, wishing that his two closest friends would tell each other how they felt.  
  
Hi, Misty."  
  
It was Ash. She hadn't heard him open the door to the bedroom and was shocked to suddenly hear his voice. She turned to see him coming into the room, walking towards her. He sat down on the floor next to her and picked up Pikachu. He softly stroked the rodents head, making him purr.  
  
Hi," she finally replied. Your back then," she commented, trying to make it seem that she didn't really care.  
  
Yeah."  
  
How did you get on?"  
  
Pretty great. I think she really likes me and were going to that party tomorrow night, so-"  
  
That's brilliant."  
  
Then she hesitated, realising that she should apologise for earlier. She understood why he hadn't dated. If he found someone he really liked he may have to decide between his lifelong dream and that relationship, and either choice would severely hurt him. I'm sorry, Ash, about this afternoon. I just got angry and as usual took it out on you. I didn't mean what I said. I can understand your apprehension."  
  
Ah, don't worry about it. Anyway, if you hadn't of said those things I'd never plucked up the courage to ask Stasi out. And I guess you were right. Relationships are part of life and I can't neglect them just to stop from getting hurt. I should really start thinking about those types of things and taking a few more risks. I don't want to end up alone. I'd like to eventually fall in love, get married, and who knows, even have a couple of kids."  
  
I didn't exactly see you as the settling-down type," Misty giggled.  
  
Ah, who knows what the future holds. All I know for sure is that I don't want to be alone."  
  
You'LL never be alone. You've got me , Brock, Pikachu, your mum and a lot of other people who'll always be there for you."  
  
Thanks."  
  
For what?"  
  
Saying that."  
  
No problem."  
  
With that, he went back into the living room, leaving Misty alone with her thoughts again. She was happy, and a little shocked, that everything had went so well, but her joy for her friend was overshadowed by her envy. She wanted him for herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**_~Divided and Confused~_**  
**Chapter Three**  
_by cultnirvana_

********************* 

The next morning, Ash, Brock and Pikachu sat in the living room eating while watching the TV, as usual.  
  
Hey, guys."  
  
Misty's voice seemed gentler than it generally was. Ash looked up at his friend from his food, and almost choked. She had changed from her normal clothes into something more feminine. She wore a long black skirt and a purple silk shirt that just revealed the bottom of her belly. Pikachu, realizing his master's problems, hit him a few times on the back, to help to dislodge the lump. After a few seconds, Ash, recovered, looked back towards his friend and awkwardly said, Hi."  
  
_What is with me lately? First I catch myself dreaming about her when I'm with someone else, and now I almost choke looking at her. But then again, she does look pretty cute._  
  
Misty giggled into herself. Maybe he did like her, even if it was only physical attraction. But she was intent of distracting him away from Stasi. She couldn't watch him drool over another girl. It was too painful. She had to stop things between them, even though she knew she could hurt Ash by doing so. She didn't want it to go any further. She had to have him for herself.  
  
She hated being jealous. It was a very unattractive facet, but her love for him prevented her from worrying to much about what she was doing. Ah, I'm going to do a little bit of shopping. I want to get something to wear for tonight. You guys want to join me?"  
  
Na, I'm still tired. Didn't get to sleep until late last night," Brock explained.  
  
Okay." _Thanks, Brock_, she said inwardly. She hoped for that response. She turned back to Ash and Pikachu. What about you guys?"  
  
What do you say, Pikachu?"  
  
Pika," he replied happily.  
  
Great. Lets get going."  
  
They all walked out of the apartment, leaving Brock to watch morning cartoons. She didn't mind Pikachu coming (he knew exactly how she felt about Ash), but if Brock had come too, another unknowing human would have ruined it for her.  
  
They left the Pokemon Centre and headed down to the main shopping district within Viridian.  
  
So, is it solely fashion shopping today?" Ash jokingly whined.  
  
Well, not all day. We could get some souvenirs and stuff. I'm actually surprised you came with me. I though you hated shopping."  
  
Well, I want to get something for my mum, and I thought this would be a good opportunity. And...what's wrong with spending a little time with your friend."  
  
Nothing, I'm just surprised you want to spend some time with me."  
  
Your my friend. I know we fight and all, but we are still pretty close."  
  
I know." She smiled at his comment. Ever since he'd come back from his date yesterday, he had been unusually nice to her.  
  
"So, you going to help me pick out a dress?"  
  
Sure. I don't have much of a sense of style, but I'll try."  
  
Great! Come on. I saw the perfect little shop yesterday. It's just down the street." She grabbed his hand and pulled him down the avenue.  
  
He couldn't help but blush, feeling her warm hand in his, happily watching her excitedly run towards the store. He didn't fully understand why he was blushing (although she had made him blush before), but give up on analysing the reasons and just enjoyed it.

********************* 

The night was pitch black, but the half moon and stars glistened, casting a natural light over the area. _Kinda romantic_, Misty thought, before letting out a happy sigh.  
  
Today had been so perfect. They had never fought, never mocked each other. She even thought that he had enjoyed shopping. He had complimented her on how she looked in the long blue dress she'd picked out, and she was sure she had seen him blushing. Maybe there was something between them. People always commented on how they looked like a couple before. Maybe, just maybe, he felt something for her too.  
  
She walked back into the hall, where the disco was being held, and the smile instantly dropped from her face. There he was, her in his arms, the two both as close as possible, swaying slowly to the music. They were still chatting, looking directly into each other's eyes. It seemed that to them there was nothing else in the world. Her hopes were instantly dashed.  
  
Hi."  
  
She turned around at the voice to see a handsome guy about her age looking at her.  
  
Do you want to dance?" he asked confidently.  
  
No thanks," she replied quickly and rudely.  
  
O-okay." With that he swiftly left, much to her relief.  
  
She again turned her attention to the two dancers. Every second they seemed to get closer.  
  
She felt another presence next to her. What?" she said coldly.  
  
Sorry." The voice was familiar.  
  
Oh, I'm sorry, Brock."  
  
You okay, Misty?"  
  
Yeah. I must be a little tired or something."  
  
Yeah," but he didn't believe her. He knew exactly what was wrong, but now wasn't the time to bring it up.  
  
The song ended and the two began to walk towards their friends, laughing the whole time, his arm around her waist. "Hey guys, why aren't you dancing?" Ash asked.  
  
"Ah, well I just got rejected again," Brock said, to which Ash just laughed.  
  
"What about you, Mist? I thought you loved dancing."  
  
"Oh, I do, I'm just not really in the mood." She gave him a forced smile.  
  
He could see the sadness behind it. She walked away from her friends, taking another bottle of drink from the table. Ash turned to Stasi. "Stasi, do you mind if I ask Misty for a dance? She seems a little depressed and I want to find out what's wrong and try to cheer her up a bit."  
  
Stasi hesitated slightly. The suspicion that Ash had feelings for Misty raised it's head again. She was unsure what to say, but although they were dating, she had no right to tell him what to do. "Okay."  
  
"Thanks." And in a flash he had moved from her side to Misty's. "Hey, Mist?"  
  
"Yeah, Ash," she replied while sipping on her soda.  
  
"You want to dance?"  
  
"Sure!" She knew that was too quick a response. She had sounded needy, and although that was how she felt, she didn't want him to know that.  
  
"Okay." He took her hand gently and lead her onto the dance floor. "Are you okay tonight, Misty?"  
  
"Sure. Why do you ask?"  
  
"Well, you just seem a little depressed and distant, but you were okay earlier today. I was just wondering if something happen."  
  
"I'm okay. I just have something on my mind that I have to sort out."  
  
"If you need to talk, I'll listen."  
  
She stared straight into his dark eyes, loving hearing those words of genuine concern coming from him. "Thanks, Ash, and hopefully someday I'll be able to tell you what's wrong, but...not yet."  
  
He was confused by her last statement. What was she talking about? But he decided to let it go. If she needed his help, he was sure she would come to him.


	4. Chapter 4

**_~Divided and Confused~_**  
**Chapter Four**  
_by cultnirvana_

********************* 

Misty woke up late that morning, unsure if she even wanted to get out of her bed.  
  
After the night before, she felt horrible. Although she was comforted by the memory of Ash's concern over her, the image of Stasi in his arms made her feel terrible. They seemed so close, so into each other. The belief that if she dressed up in order to impress Ash he'd forget about Stasi was pure stupidity. They would never be anything more than friends, she had to realize that.  
  
_Let the poor boy have a bit of fun,_ she though,_ and don't spoil this for him because of your jealousy._  
  
She walked into the living room, and to make her feel worse, there she was, sitting on the sofa. "Oh, hi, Stasi. I didn't know you were coming over today."  
  
"Yep. Me and Ash are going on another date today." The girl seemed overly happy, but at the same time, Misty sensed that the girl was boasting a bit.  
  
"Where is Ash?"  
  
"I'm in the kitchen," came the garbled response, Ash with his mouth full of food. "Morning, sleepyhead."  
  
" It's not that late, is it?"  
  
"It's almost noon," Brock responded.  
  
Oh, I better get ready then. Has anyone saw my hairbrush?" Misty asked her friends.  
  
Ash, standing in the kitchen, looked about himself and found the small item on one of the counter tops. Is this it?" He held the object in view of Misty.  
  
Ah, good. How the hell did it get in here? I must've left it here last night." As she closed in on Ash and reached for the brush, he quickly raised his arm and held it out of her grasp. Ash, give it to me." But he didn't relent, lifting his arm even higher. Even when she jumped, she could barely reach it. Ash, stop it. I need that."  
  
Well, you're going to have to get it then."  
  
Misty fumed. Then a little smile spread across her face, and she elbowed him in the stomach as hard as she could. He let out a yell and bent almost double.  
  
Ah, that really hurt."  
  
Taking the opportunity she made, she grabbed the brush and began to walk away, happy that she had got one over on her friend. But before she had walked far, he seized her with both of his arms, held her arms steady and began to try to pry the brush from her hands.  
  
You can be so evil sometimes, you know that." He wasn't annoyed though. He actually seemed amused by what she had done. That wasn't fair."  
  
I know but when have you known me to be fair."  
  
The two, realizing the closeness between them, stopped wrestling and just stood their for a moment enjoying the intimacy. Her warmth was intoxicating to him, her skin so soft and hair silky.  
_  
She's so beautiful, just per- What the hell?!_  
  
Coming to his senses, he let go of her and backed away, unnerved by his own feelings. She, shocked at his sudden movements which had taken her away from a kind of euphoria, looked at his bewildered face.  
  
Okay, you win. You can have it." His face was crimson red.  
  
Thanks," she giggled. Before she left the kitchen to go back to the bedroom, she glanced back at Ash and give him an embarrassed smile, one which he returned, and then she walked away, silently smiling to herself.  
  
He just stared at her as she left, his mind still spinning in confusion.  
  
Stasi, having watched the discourse between her boyfriend and his travelling partner, looked towards Brock, and, barely concealing her suspicions, asked, in a quiet voice, Has anything ever happened between the two of them? They seem very ... close."  
  
Oh, don't worry. They're just good friends," he bluffed.  
  
Okay." But she wasn't sure if Brock had been telling the truth. Ash often talked about Misty when she and him were together. The only thing he talked more about was his dream to be a Pokémon Master. Even if they were just good friends she had the feeling that maybe something more was developing deep within both of them.

*********************

Misty just lay on her bed, softly sobbing to herself. She didn't know why she had just burst into tears like that. Maybe it was because they had been so close only moments before. Finally they had got into a fight that wasn't filled with insults, but one that had been fun. She loved to feel his arms around her, and she thought he'd enjoyed it too. She wanted to be held in those arms again, but not in a friendly embrace, in a loving one. She wanted him to hold her, kiss her, touch her. But she knew that that would never happen. That thought had quickly changed her happiness into depression. She could usually keep close control of her feelings, but after what happened, she couldn't stop thinking about how her and Ash could never be together.  
  
She heard the door being pushed open. She looked in its direction, and saw Brock closing the door behind him.  
  
You okay, Misty?"  
  
Yeah. Why shouldn't I be?"  
  
I know you're crying. Please, I'm your friend. Tell me what's wrong. I want to help you." He got nothing from Misty so tried the more direct approach. It's Ash, isn't it?" he said in his most sympathetic voice. He took a few steps towards her and lowered the volume of his voice even more so. You can't stand to see him with another woman because you want him for yourself."  
  
His compassion and understanding was rewarded. She opened up immediately. I really love him, Brock, and seeing him with her angers me. I'm glad he's happy, but it's making me miserable."  
  
I guess Ash knows nothing about this."  
  
Definitely not. I couldn't. He doesn't have any feelings for me. If I told him how I feel, he'll run a mile. I have to accept that fact. But at the same time, I really want to be with him. I want us to be more than friends."  
  
It's one of the most difficult situations, falling in love with a close friend. And there is really no escape."  
  
"I know, and I really only have on option, sit back and watch him fall in love with other girls. I knew this day would come, but that doesn't stop it from hurting so much." Her sobs became louder, and Brock began to stroke her red hair softly in an attempt to calm her down.  
  
He didn't know what to say. What could he say? He wanted to help her, but he couldn't tell her that he suspected Ash felt the same way for her as she did for him in case he had been wrong. So he just let her cry, trying to help by being there to comfort her. This was something she had to solve herself.

*********************

So, have you kissed her yet?" Misty asked, hoping for a certain answer.  
  
Ahh, no."  
  
Oh." It was hard for her to hide back her joy.  
  
You seem surprised."  
  
Well, I am a little. You've been with the girl for what, four days now."  
  
Yeah, but..." he lowered his head, stared at the floor and began to awkwardly scratch his head.  
  
What's wrong, Ash?" He became even more embarrassed. You can tell me. I'm your best friend. I want to help. Remember, you're new to all of this."  
  
Okay, but don't tell anyone this," he anxiously whispered. "Anyone at all. Not even Brock or Pikachu. I don't want anybody to know."  
  
"I won't. You can trust me," Misty answered, a little confused and very curious.  
  
It's just, ahh, I'm a little nervous." His faced turned pure red.  
  
What about?"  
  
About," his voice became even quieter, about kissing her."  
  
She accidentally let out a small snigger.  
  
I know, I know. It's stupid. I shouldn't be worried about something like that, but, I am."  
  
Oh, that's so sweet."  
  
He give her a look of disdain. He was a guy. He didn't take well to being called 'sweet'.  
  
I'm sorry, but don't worry. It's perfectly normal. All guys get nervous about that type of stuff if they have no experience of it. They just don't admit to it. That's the problem with you men. You can't express your feelings properly, which just causes more complications." She moved to sit by his side, to try and comfort him, to show him that she cared. What exactly are you nervous about?"  
  
Just about, you know, will I know when the time is right? What if I screw it up, if I scare her off? How should I kiss her, and will I be any good or not?" Then he added, with a little sarcasm, Just the normal insecurities of a fourteen-year-old male," to try and lighten the already awkward mood.  
  
Why don't you want anyone to know about this?"  
  
I'm just embarrassed by it."  
  
But you're telling me about this."  
  
I feel more comfortable around you talking about this stuff. I don't know why, but-"  
  
Thanks."  
  
For what?"  
  
For being so nice. It's a great compliment to be told you're the only one a friend can talk to about certain things."  
  
Oh. Well, it is true. Even though we still fight a lot, well not as much as we used to, I seem to feel more secure talking about personal things to you rather than anyone else. I do talk to Brock about my feelings sometimes, but I feel a little more uncomfortable." He was trying to figure the reason out for himself. Why Misty? Was it a male-female thing? Did he feel like he was less of a man talking to another guy about his feelings than he was with a girl? Or was it due to what he had begun to notice within himself over the past few days? Was it because he had begun to think of Misty more lately than of his own girlfriend, and was truly hoping to experience this step with her rather than Stasi? Maybe the nervousness was a way of putting off the inevitable kiss just in case Misty had feelings for him.  
  
But he tried to convince himself that Misty would never develop feelings for him. For a start, they were too close as friends for anything more. Also, he felt that if she did have feelings for him, would she be so adamant to help him with his problems with another girl? He thought not. He was just getting mixed up. Maybe he didn't have feelings for Misty. It could be because of the fact that they were to leave Viridian in a a few days, and he may never see Stasi again, and if he got to serious now, he could risk breaking his own heart. By him thinking he was developing feelings for another person would mean that there would always be a barrier between Ash and Stasi. It could just be a buffer against commitment. It would explain why he only had really noticed his feelings for Misty since he met Stasi.  
  
But, there had always been something between them. He had always had a crush on her, and sometimes felt very close to her. Maybe the presence of another person had brought his feelings to the surface. Perhaps the feelings that he had thought were for Stasi were really denied feelings for Misty. _God, I'm all mixed up, _he thought.   
  
You okay?"  
  
Mmm?"  
  
You drifted away for a minute there. You just thinking?"  
  
Yeah. Can you help me, then?"  
  
Sure. Right, let me see. For a start, there is no given time, no given way to kiss someone. Every moment is individual, different. For each relationship there is a right and a wrong time. But if you were to pick a time, it would have to be on the spur of the moment, when you feel closer to that person than ever before. When you catch each other staring into one another's eyes. And the kiss. The kiss would need to be soft and tender, but at the same time strong and passionate, to show the other person how much you care."  
  
This time it was Misty drifting off into her own little dream world. A moonlit night with the man of her dreams. At least fantasy always worked out. You will know when the time is right. It's a natural human instinct. You can't prepare for it. You just have to wait."  
  
I think I understand. But what if it's the wrong time for her, and what if I'm no good at it?"  
  
If you have the wrong timing, then you just have the wrong timing. It's far from a perfect science. And about quality, don't worry. You'll be fine. Just let your instincts take over. Remember when you first saw her, you just went up to her and asked her out. When you get that feeling again, that impulse, just ride with it."  
  
Thanks, Mist. I think you've helped me. I feel a little more at ease. You're a very understanding person, and a good friend. I hope you know how much this means to me, to be able to talk with someone like this."  
  
What are friends for if not this?"  
  
She needed to change the subject, feeling that this was getting to hard for her. She had just given the guy she loved advice on how to improve his relationship with another women. But then he was a friend and she wished him all the luck in the world, although she would not be the person involved. She had given up on any possibility of something happening between them.  
  
So, you want to go down town and grab a bit to eat."  
  
That would be great. I'm starving."  
  
You're always starving."  
  
I'm still growing. I need a lot of food."  
  
Not THAT much," she teased.


	5. Chapter 5

**_~Divided and Confused~_**  
**Chapter Five**  
_by cultnirvana_

Brock walked into the room, where Ash lay on his back upon his bed.  
  
Ash was confused after talking to and spending time with Misty the night before, wondering why he was beginning to think about her in that way and did he really feel something for her. He hadn't heard his friend enter the room.  
  
Trying not to startle Ash, he spoke. I'm about to start dinner. What are you in the mood for?"  
  
His friend didn't move, but answered quietly back. I'm not really that hungry."  
  
Brock understood why he was not, and decided to let Ash know that. He couldn't let him lay in here all day, trying to figure this out. I can understand why."  
  
That got Ash's attention. He sat up on the bed and for the first time looked towards Brock. What do you mean?"  
  
I've had my share of girl problems too. I guess you could call me an expert."  
  
How did you know?"  
  
I've noticed the way you've been behaving lately. I recognize the signs. Your in love."  
  
Shhh. Someone might hear you."  
  
Brock now knew he was right and with a smug look on his face he told Ash, Don't worry. Misty went out for a few messages. That's why I took this opportunity to talk to you. I thought you might need a little help."  
  
Help with what?"  
  
Don't pretend with me. I know what's going on. You've started dating someone who you are developing feelings for, but now, to mess everything up, there's someone else in the picture who you think you may have stronger feelings for. The only problem is that this other girl happens to be your best friend." He finished sarcastically, which just causes even more confusion."  
  
Ash sighed. Why do these things have to happen to me?"  
  
Your a teenager, Ash, that's why. No one survives their teenage years without a few hiccups along the way. If you didn't have the problems, you would not be able to survive when your an adult. It's all a part of life, and it makes the good times even better."  
  
Well, I can't wait to become an adult if I have another six years off this to come."  
  
You're just going to have to." Brock let out a small laugh.  
  
Ash, a little angrily, said Hey, don't laugh. I feel bad enough already."  
  
God, am I glad I'm no longer a teenager."  
  
Well, I am and I need some help to sort this out."  
  
All I can do is give you some advice, a little help. Then you'll have to make the decisions yourself. If I made them for you, you'd be cheating life. So tell me, what's going on in that brain of yours?"  
  
Well, at the beginning of this week, everything was going great. I was having the best time with Stasi. She's so fun and I'm really happy when I'm with her, plus she really likes me too.  
  
" But then, for the past few days, I've been realizing how great my friendship with Misty has become. We rarely argue now, and when we begin to, it stops quickly, and we have been confiding in each other much more than ever, telling each other deeply personal stuff. We went out and sat up quite late last night, just chatting about anything on our minds, and I can't remember when I'd been so happy. She's very beautiful, too. I've always had a bit of a crush on her, but lately it has become something more ... intense."  
  
It seems like you would much rather be with Misty than Stasi."  
  
Yeah, but I'm not sure why these feelings are creeping up now. I know that being with her is not possible."  
  
What do you mean not possible?"  
  
Come on, Brock, you know. Me and Misty have been friends for four years now. We're too close for anything to happen, and I don't want to damage our friendship, especially as we have become so close. Anyway, I don't think she notices I exist in that way. She usually goes for older guys, the intellectual type, who are tall and strong. I'm not overly tall and I'm not that strong. I'm sure she doesn't feel for me the way I do for her."  
  
This put Brock in an awkward position. He knew that Misty did indeed have feelings for Ash, and, in fact, that she was in love with him, but if he told him, he would be intervening much more than he wished to. He hoped that the two would come together without any outside stimuli. He didn't want to force anything. But with their feelings for each other, Brock was sure that eventually something would happen for them to come together.  
  
You're her closest friend, that means you're half-way home."  
  
But that is the main problem. If I tell her how I feel, I could possibly lose that friendship and it means too much to me to jeopardize it. But I still have feelings for her, and no matter what I do, they'll never go away. I have to stop denying them and pretending it's something else."  
  
Well then, you have to decide between your options. You could travel the safe road with Stasi, someone who does make you happy and who has feelings for you. Or, you could take a chance, and risk something dear. If you asked Misty out, there could be one of two outcomes; she has no feelings for you and perhaps your friendship will decay a little, or maybe she feels for you the same way you do for her. The friendship you value so dearly will evolve to the next level, and you will have achieved one of your dreams.  
  
"So is it safety; a fun relationship with a girl who you know cares about you? Or will you take a chance; will you risk what you already have for something that would become better than anything else possibly could? The more risk there is in things, the more you get back, but at the same time there is more to lose."  
  
I don't know. I'm all mixed up. I don't have as strong feelings for Stasi as I do for Misty, but at the same time I love Misty so much that I'm not prepared to do anything that could end what we already have for some romantic fantasy of what could be." Ash grabbed the sides of his head. Argh, I hate this."  
  
I know you do. But you have to make your decision quickly. You can't kept trailing Stasi around if you still have those doubts in your head. It's not fair to her. If you hesitate and then decide to tell Misty how you feel, you'll break Stasi's heart. Whatever you do, you need to do it now before things get too serious with her." He paused for a minute before beginning again. Do you want me to leave you alone a little while to think?"  
  
No," Ash replied, but then he just sat there for a moment on the bed, staring into space. Brock could see he was trying to figure out what to do. I don't think I can risk it. Misty means too much to me. It's hard but I have to face the fact that I can never be with her."  
  
At that moment Misty came back into the apartment. Seeing no one about, she came into the bedroom. Hi, guys." She saw the seriousness on their faces, something that was quite rare for them two. What's wrong? Is everything alright?"  
  
Brock answered. Don't worry. We were just talking."  
  
Mano O mano, I suppose."  
  
I guess," Ash said, with a sadness in his eyes as he looked at her beautiful face.  
  
Misty handed the bag she had been carrying to Brock. I got all the messages. So what are you going to make?"  
  
I've still to figure that out. You can help me."  
  
Okay." She walked out of the room leaving the guys alone again.  
  
Brock looked up to Ash again, and said, with a little regret, You've really grown up lately. That was a very hard decision to make." Brock smiled at his friend, then left the room and followed Misty to the kitchen.  
  
Ash lay back down on his bed and just stared at the blank ceiling. He knew he had made the right choice, the only problem was that the riskier path, if everything turned out for the best, would have been so much better. 


	6. Chapter 6

**_~Divided and Confused~_**  
**Chapter Six**  
_by cultnirvana_

********************* 

Goodnight, Brock."  
  
Night, Misty."  
  
Misty crawled into the top bunk and looked over at Ash, who was playing with Pikachu. "Night, Ash, Pikachu."  
  
" Night/Pika," they replied.  
  
Yes, she had given up on any chance of pursuing him, but at least she would still be able gaze at his good-looking face and think about what could have been.  
  
Ash just lay there for most of the night, sleep never quite reaching him until day had begun to break. He thought about the past few days, how things had changed, for both the better and the worse. He had noticed a few stray looks from Misty, the type of looks that would sometimes give him the impression that perhaps she did feel something towards him, but he always disregarded them. They had, most likely, been misinterpreted by his confused brain. She couldn't have feelings for him.  
  
_But why not?_ he asked himself. She did love him as a friend, and had called him handsome. These were the beginning steps of a relationship, mutual respect and attraction. She may not have meant it in that way, but, the handsome bit. She may have just noticed that he was attractive to other women without necessarily being attracted to him herself.  
  
Or maybe he had made the wrong decision?  
_  
Oh, that's great. I finally am able to make a choice, and as soon as I come to terms with it, I start wishing again._  
  
Ash, sure that Misty was by now asleep, rolled from lying on his back to his side, to face Misty. Her eyes were closed, and she had pulled the quilt tightly up to her neck. She looked so peaceful compared to his distressed self. He envied her tranquillity. He just stared at her cuteness, all snuggled up, warm and cozy, until his eyelids began to weigh down and finally close.  
  
He was awoken by a smiling Misty leaning over him, shaking him gently. 

*********************

Come on, Ash, it's after ten. You better get up."  
  
She climbed down from the bunk bed and softly put her feet on the floor, but before moving further, she stood for a moment. She wanted to ask Ash a question but couldn't quite pluck up the courage. She thought that she had caught him staring at her last night when they were in bed, but then again, it had been late and it may of been a dream, or maybe he was just looking in her direction. Neither-the-less, she hoped for the first possibility. If he had been staring at her, it implied that he may have some kind of feelings for her. He had been giving her unusual looks lately, either embarrassed of confused. Maybe he did feel for her the same way she felt for him.  
  
But realizing it was a stupid thought, and that she should try to stop wishing for things like that, she continued on her way to help Brock with breakfast. She had agreed with herself that she wouldn't try to intervene in his relationship with Stasi, and would attempt to stop thinking of him as more than a friend. It would be had to swallow her feelings, but she had to do it for the sake of her heart.

*********************

Ash walked into the living room, still in his pyjamas, and sat down on one of the wooden seats at the table.  
  
So, you got another date with Stasi tonight?" Brock said as he placed Ash's breakfast in front of him before settling down to enjoy his own.  
  
Yeah, but I'm running out of ideas where to take her."  
  
Misty sat down beside him, looking less than happy. He looked at her face and immediately forgot about the date. You okay, Mist?"  
  
With a fake smile on her fact, she replied, Yeah. I'm just a little tired."  
  
O-okay." He didn't believe her answer. He could tell something was wrong with her, but had no idea what, and didn't really want to pry. He wanted to help her with whatever was troubling her, but his mind was too clouded with his own doubts and dilemmas to really be any help to anyone.  
  
Misty had to do something to help with the progress of forgetting her feelings. Helping with his relationship, like she had done before, maybe would aid it. I know where you can take her. It's a really romantic spot. If you go off the road where the market is and head to the forest, there's a beautiful little bridge surrounded by cherry blossom trees. The moon will be shining tonight, so I think it would be just...perfect."  
  
He looked at her for a moment, then down at his breakfast. Suddenly, he felt nauseous. I think I'm going to get dressed first. Back in a minute." He hastily speed to the room, closing the door behind him, leaning his back to it.  
  
_She doesn't care about me. Why the hell would she say something like that if she did have feelings for me. Those looks must have meant nothing. I've made the right decision. I can never have her 'cause she'll never want me like I want her._

*********************

Ash?" Stasi said to him. What's wrong? You seem a little distant tonight. Are you okay?"  
  
Yeah, I'm alright. I've just got some things on my mind."  
  
So...so do I," she uttered softly.  
  
The two walked onto the bridge Misty had mentioned, stopping about halfway over. She had been right. It was one of the most beautiful places Ash'd ever seen, and Stasi seemed to agree.  
  
You're leaving here in a week," she began, "and I know that we had accepted the fact that this would probably last only until then, but...I would like for us to...try to keep it going as long as possible. I really like you, Ash, and we've had such a good time over the past few days that I would like to see it continue. I know it's going to be hard, but I'd like to try it. What do you think?"  
  
Ash stared into her eyes. Why was Misty always on his mind when he had accepted the fact that nothing could ever blossom between them? Here he was, in one of the most romantic areas of the region, with an incredibly beautiful girl who had feelings for him, who laughed at his jokes, shared his interests, and was asking him to extend the time they had previously agreed upon, and all he could do was think about the girl whom he had decided that he didn't have a future with.  
  
_I must be crazy not to take her offer up. Yes, I have feelings for Misty, but nothing will ever happen there. We are too close as friends to have a relationship. And who knows maybe things will develop with Stasi into love as well. Maybe she's my true love instead of Misty. I'd be crazy to reject her._  
  
I think you're right. Everything has went so well. Why should it end now?"  
  
Her awkward smile widened into one of joy. She pulled him close to her and hugged him gently. When she backed away, their eyes met, and they just looked at each other for a moment.  
  
This seemed like one of those perfect moments Misty had spoke of, when everything was just right, in its correct place. It was now or never, he decided, so he raised his right hand, and placed his thumb and forefinger on her chin to move it a little higher. He then lowered his own head slowly and brought it closer to hers.  
  
But then his troubled emotions stirred again.  
  
With only about an inch between their lips, he realized that he couldn't do it, and he finally understood what he had to do, his mind in total clarity for the first time since this had all started. This decision was a mistake.  
  
Stasi, I can't do this."  
  
Startled and shocked, she wearily opened her eyes. He could see that she had been totally overcome with the intensity of the moment, and was not altogether alert. W-what?"  
  
I ... I can't do this." He released her chin and backed away from her a little, knowing that he wasn't going to be very popular in a few seconds.  
  
Confused, she asked, Why, Ash? What's wrong?"  
  
I have feelings for you, but...but I can never love you. I'm in love with her, and unless I can be with her, I don't think I can fall for anyone else."  
  
Who?" she muttered, he mind racing a mile a second. Then realizing that her suspicions were right she said her name, knowing for sure what he meant. Misty."  
  
Yes."  
  
She could see that he was full of emotion, but not confusion.  
  
I don't know how long I have felt this way about her. I have had a crush on her since the first day we met, but not until recently did I realise how deep my feelings ran. I'm so in love with her that no one else can take that place in my heart. If I can't have her, I feel that I would be better off with no one."  
  
She felt sympathy for him. She had discovered over the past week that although he acted strong and independent on the outside, within he was a very sensitive and emotional person, who always lead with his heart. That's the way he fought in battle, and must also be the way he dealt with personal problems. She envied him for it, but she also felt anger for what he had just done.  
  
He had rejected her for someone else. She felt betrayed. Her anger taking over, she was ready to reject him as well. "You bastard!" She then raised her hand and slapped him full force across the cheek, and stormed off in a rage.  
  
He stood and watched her leave. He lifted his hand up to his cheek, and felt the tendered, glowing skin. You deserved that," he said to himself. 


	7. Chapter 7

**_~Divided and Confused~_**  
**Chapter Seven**  
_by cultnirvana_

********************* 

Ash stood outside the door to the apartment. He knew Misty would be inside, and he didn't want to go in.  
  
He was so in love with her but knew that he would never be able to make something of it. Yes, he could tell her, and she would probably run a mile. _Hi, Misty. Oh, by the way, I'm in love with you._ He would most likely get another slap across the face.  
  
Sooner or later he was going to have to go in, so he put the key in the hole and turned. Everything would be fine if he didn't say anything. All he had to do was hold himself back from the temptation to say or do something. He was sure if anything did happen, he'd lose the respect and closeness of his best friend.  
  
Hi, Misty."  
  
She jumped. She hadn't heard the door opening. Trying to regain her composure, she said, Ah, you're home very early."  
  
Sorry if I scared you." He looked at her panicked face, You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
I was just a little startled."  
  
Sorry."  
  
It's okay. I was just thinking. Hey, why are you back so early?"  
  
Ash walked over to the couch and sat next to her, put on an embarrassed smile and answered her question. She dumped me."  
  
What?" Accidentally Misty let a little excitement into her tone. _Misty, wise up. You may have wanted this, but he's still you friend and you should be more considerate_. Oh, Ash, I thought it was going so well?"  
  
So did I, until I screwed up."  
  
She let out a small laugh. Oh, you idiot. What did you do?"  
  
I don't really want to talk about it." He pulled his shoes off, lifted his legs and lay down on the couch, his head in Misty's lap. I just want to relax."  
  
Misty, not knowing where to place her hands, looked down at her friend. He looked miserable._ Poor guy, messed up and lost his first girlfriend._ When she looked at his face, she noticed one cheek was a little redder than the other. Without realizing what she was doing, she brushed her forefinger tenderly across the area. He flinched slightly.  
  
Ash felt her finger softly stroke the place where he had been slapped. The gentleness sent shivers down his spine. Her touch was so intoxicating to him.  
  
What happened here? Did you get into a fight again or something?"  
  
No. Stasi slapped me. It was pretty sore."  
  
Hmm, it looks it. So are you going to tell me why she did this?"  
  
Maybe later."  
  
She brought her hand down and placed it over his chest, moving the other from his wounded cheek to his long, black hair. She began to delicately tussle it.  
  
Ash closed his eyes at the pleasure of her administrations. That's nice."  
  
He looked so peaceful. She wanted to kiss him, to lay her lips upon his, but she knew that could ruin their friendship.  
  
So, what do you want to do tonight?" he asked her. "We've both have nothing planned, but we can still save the night. Is there any good movies on?"  
  
Nothing you would be interested. There's a romance film, but I don't think you would want to watch it after tonight."  
  
I don't like romance movies at the best of times. They're too boring. Need a little more action in them. Action movies with romance, that's okay, but not on it's own."  
  
Oh, men. Sorry, I mean boys."  
  
He sat up and opened his eyes for the first time in a couple of minutes. Hey, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm fourteen and people say I'm grown up for my age."  
  
She laughed. What people?"  
  
At this point, a fierce argument would normally begin, but Ash's reply was very different from what she had expected to hear. He sounded a little embarrassed and disappointed. He looked at her with one of the most serious looks she had every seen come from him, and asked her, Do you still think of me as a kid? I thought I had grown up a lot from the time we first time we met, and it means a great deal to me to have you respect me. I hoped that especially you would notice how much I've changed over the past few years. You're my closest friend, and your opinion means a lot to me. Have I changed?"  
  
She just stared at him for a moment and then a small smile creeped across her face. You have changed, Ash. You've changed so much. You are very mature for you age. You kinda always have been. Remember, I'm over two years older than you, so I guess when we were younger, I did think you were a little kid, but I haven't for a long time. I'm sorry, I was just trying to tease you."  
  
Thanks, Mist. And I was telling the truth. It does mean a lot to me to hear you say that." They smiled at each other for a minute, and then Ash lay back down and closed his eyes again. This is nice."  
  
She put her hand back into his hair and started to massage his head. With the other hand she picked up the remote and pressed the red power button. There's nothing on so I guess there's no point having it on." When she looked back down at Ash's relaxed face, she noticed he was giggling. What's so funny?" she asked, a smile of amusement on her face.  
  
I was just remembering the first time we met, by the river. The first thing you called me was 'kid'."  
  
Well, I was disappointed. I was fishing for Pokémon, and when I snagged you, I thought I had a Gyarados or something. I was disappointed."  
  
Disappointed?" A false sadness spread over his face. She knew he was fishing for compliments.  
  
I didn't know you back then. All I saw was a kid. And then when you stole my-" A little anger creeped into her voice. Ash heard it.  
  
Okay, next subject."  
  
It has been over four years and you still haven't paid me back for blowing up my bike."  
  
Hoping for a reprieve, Ash put on an innocent tone. But it was Pikachu that really blew it up."  
  
Oh, I know that, but I guess I'd rather blame you."  
  
But if I did get you another bike, you might leave."  
  
No I wouldn't. I'm to close to you guys to leave. I mean we've barely been out of each other sights for four long years. I wouldn't dream of leaving you now. I care to much for you guys. You're like my ... my brothers."  
  
Brothers. Bad sign. Ash felt that she would never say anything like that if she did have any feelings for him. Brothers. That close, eh?"  
  
Of course. I know you and Brock better than I know my own sisters."  
  
I guess."  
  
You sound a little disappointed."  
  
Don't worry, I'm not." He paused for a moment and then began again. We've been through so much over the past few years. Faced death a number of times, been torn apart and have always come back together again. I wonder what the future has in store for us over the next few years."  
  
More adventures, more opportunity to grow closer, more dangers, but more triumphs. We'll be able to face anything as long as we are together." They both clamped hands. Friends to the end, Ash?"  
  
Of course."

********************* 

They both talked for hours more, about the things that had happened over the years. Team Rocket, the league, their journeys. Just anything that came up.  
  
Mmm. I'm starting to get hungry," Ash said.  
  
You're always hungry."  
  
I know. I'm a growing man."  
  
Well, if you don't watch yourself you'll begin growing outwards instead of upwards."  
  
I'm a fit person so I should be okay."  
  
They both got up from the sofa and made their way to the kitchen.  
  
Halfway, however, Ash stopped. He just watched Misty walk into the other room. It took her a moment before she realized he wasn't with her.  
  
They were beginning to bond so much with each other. They had always been the closest of friends, but now, as they were becoming older, they had been drawing together even more. He felt that if she did have feelings for him, a relationship between them would be so deep and meaningful.  
  
At that moment, recalling their conversation that only ended a mere moment ago, he knew for sure that he was madly in love with her and that the feeling would never leave him. He knew what he had said to Stasi earlier was right; if he couldn't have Misty, he didn't want anyone else. He could never love them in the same way as he loved her. When he would be with other girls, he would just be able to think of the one he lost, the only one he would every be able to truly love. He guessed that maybe it would be best to be with no one else, and save himself the heartbreak, and that of others, of remembering that he would never have what he truly wanted.  
  
Misty turned around at the threshold of the kitchen, aware Ash wasn't by her side like he was only a second before. Instead, he was still standing in the living room, a frown on his depressed face. She felt sorry for what had happened to him, even if it made her sleep a little better at night. Stasi may have been her competition, but she had made Ash happy, and if Misty couldn't have him for herself, she at least wanted that.  
  
She walked back into the living room, and put her arms gently around him. She really hurt you. I didn't think you were taking the relationship too seriously as we will be leaving within the week. Come on, tell your big sister what happened."  
  
He attempted a smile but Misty saw through him.  
  
Come on, I care about you, Ash. I want to know what you said to her."  
  
It was nothing." The smile dropped from his face. It's not her."  
  
He wanted to continue, but held back the urge to tell Misty how he felt, knowing it was for the best.  
  
What do you mean? What else has happened?"  
  
They stared at each other for a moment, Misty curious about want he meant, Ash desperate to admit all. Then in a moment of weakness, his love for her broke through and without thinking about the consequences, he brought his face closer to hers, and softly but passionately placed his lips upon hers. He raised his hands, one to rest upon her back, the other to her head for his fingers to touch her hair, so that he could hold her close to his body. The sensation was amazing. He didn't know how long he had dreamt of kissing her, but no matter how long, he realized one thing - whoever said that anticipation was better that the actual thing had been lying.  
  
His whole body was tingling. His mind had been wiped of all thoughts apart from those regarding her. All he knew was how soft her lips were, how warm her body felt pulled next to his, how sweet she smelled, the silkiness of her red hair. Everything was intense sensation. But then another thought entered to destroy all others, the thought of how what he was doing was wrong.  
  
Immediately, he pulled himself away from her, distressed at what he had let himself do. What would she think of him now? After this, he knew how. She would forget her earlier compliments and begin to think of him as an emotional child again, who can't even control himself. He took his hands away from her and covered his face in shame, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes.  
  
I'm sorry, Misty, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm such an idiot."  
  
Misty stood for a minute, shocked at what Ash had just done. She couldn't believe it. She had been wrong all along! I ... I didn't know you felt that way about me."  
  
You never should have. I didn't want you to know. I don't want to ruin our friendship because of how I feel. You're too important to me to lose. Please, Misty, please. Forget this ever happened."  
  
What if I don't want to forget?"  
  
With that she took his hands from his face and gently cupped his head with hers. She then returned his kiss, but it lasted much longer than the first, their tongues dancing within each others mouths. When they parted, Ash whispered, I didn't know either."

********************* 

They just lay there, on the sofa, one of her arms over his chest, both of his around her, holding each other close. For a long while the only noise in the room was the soft hum of the television set, until Misty broke the tranquillity.  
  
So, now we know how each other feel, what do you think we should do about it?"  
  
I really do want to be with you, Misty, and if we do begin a relationship, if something happens between us, we may never be able to be close friends again. Then again, it's probably worth the risk."  
  
Yeah."  
  
Just then the two heard a noise from behind them. Misty sat bolt upright and turned to the opening door, to see Brock walk through.  
  
When he looked towards them, he just stared for a moment in shocked fascination. Sorry, did I interrupt anything?"  
  
Ash pulled himself up from the sofa and sat beside Misty, a little embarrassed, looking towards Brock. Ah, no."  
  
Are the two of you-" His voice trailed off, but both Ash and Misty knew what he meant.  
  
They turned to look to one another to decide what the answer was. Ash nodded his head slightly to Misty, and then they both faced Brock again. Yeah, we are," Misty answered.  
  
Brock let out a sigh of relief. Ah, finally! Now I can worry about my own relationships again!" He then walked into the bedroom without a further word.  
  
Ash and Misty give each other a confused glance before settling down in the sofa again. They both agreed with their friend though - finally!  
  
They stared straight into each others eyes, and at the same moment, spoke. I love you."

********************* 

Ash walked around the shop, looking at every item behind the counter. He was searching for the perfect box of chocolates for Misty, just a little thing to show her he cared. Misty was a romantic person and he didn't want to disappoint her.  
  
Hey," a voice from behind him said.  
  
He turned to see Stasi standing next to him. Hey." He hadn't gotten a proper chance to apologize to her, and, although everything had worked out as he dreamed, he still felt guilty about what he had done to her. I'm really sorry about what happened the other day. I just-"  
  
It's okay. I understand. You're in love with her, and if I'd known I wouldn't have stood in the way of your relationship."  
  
I would have told you, but I didn't realize myself. And I was really scared. I didn't think she felt the same way."  
  
You mean she loves you, too?"  
  
Yep."  
  
She smiled at him. That's great. I hope everything works out as you wish."  
  
So do I. I hope I don't screw up again, like I did with you."  
  
Don't put yourself down. When we were together, you did everything right, well, apart from falling in love with another girl."  
  
Ah, yeah." He blushed slightly and scratched his head awkwardly.  
  
Lets forget about what happened and just be friends, okay?" She offered her hand to shake.  
  
That's what I hoped for." He took the hand and shook it gently.  
  
Well, I better go. Hope to see you again, Ash."  
  
Me too." They let go of their hands. I'll never forget you. Your were my first girlfriend."  
  
And I will never forget you. I mean I dated thee Ash Ketchum!" She giggled a little. Good luck with your career, and with Misty."  
  
Thanks."  
  
See you soon."  
  
Bye." Ash watched her her skip out of the shop.  
  
When she had left his vision, he looked back at the counter. He still needed to find that box of chocolates for Misty, the girl he never thought he would ever have. He wanted everything to be perfect for tonight, their first official date.

********************* 

The couple walked across the bridge, hand in hand. He knew it was a little strange to take Misty to the same place he'd only days before taken another girl, but he knew how much she loved the area, and he wanted to go somewhere romantic so they could have a little privacy together.  
  
"I love this place," Misty began. "And thanks for the chocolates, Ash. Their gorgeous."  
  
"Just like you, then."  
  
She giggled a little, a blush on her cheeks. She never dreamed that Ash could be such a romantic person. She looked over the bridge to the water below, which reflected the moon's light. "Tonight has been so perfect. Thank you, Ash."  
  
He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He was slowly beginning to become accustomed to holding her like this. It still felt a little weird, but in the best possible way. "I can't believe we are together. It's like a dream come true, isn't it?"  
  
"It's something I've been wishing to happen for I don't know how long."  
  
"Now neither of us has to dream anymore." He bent down and gently kissed her neck.  
  
"Mmm. That's nice."  
  
He moved her around, keeping her in his arms, and kissed her intensely on the lips. When they separated, he asked, jokingly, "So, am I a good kisser?"  
  
"Believe me, you had nothing to worry about."  
  
She pulled his head down to hers and they began kissing again, until the need to breathe forced them to separate. They placed their foreheads together, both sets of eyes closed.  
  
"I love you so much, Ash."  
  
"I love you too, Misty."  
  
They just held each other, bodies as close as possible, never wanting to let go of each other, happy that after several days of torture for both of them, their dream had come true. 


End file.
